Shortly after we left my mom and step-dad’s home, like less than an hour, I came across an extraordinary post on Facebook. It was from the wife of my husband (and mine) college friend. He was actually a roommate of my husband’s as well.
It turned out that two years ago from that day (28 Nov) he had went to the ER with pains. He believed it was probably his appendix. They had a small guy that was about 6 and had had another baby that was 8 months old at that time.
It turned out that it was not his appendix, but stage 4 colon caner. They went to the local oncologist and he told them that it was inoperable and that they maybe had two years. He should start chemo immediately.
They did not take his answer lightly and they were recommended to seek a second opinion and to go to Dr Heinz-Joseph Lentz at USC School of medicine. They did. Two surgeries, chemo and 2 years later our friend was in remission. I read the post out loud to my husband. We had known that something was going on, there were posts about surgeries, but we had not understood what. Now we did. I was dumbstruck at the similarities between our friend and my mother. Pain in the same area, three tumors in the liver and in the colon, it was so similar and I don’t believe in coincidences.
My husband told me I needed to share this with my step-dad. I didn’t want to, because I knew what his response would be. He would tell me no, that they would not seek a second opinion there and that they would stay where they were for treatment.
Predictably, I was right. When he finally replied and sent me the email, I was crush and angry. My husband tried to console me and told me at least now I wouldn’t blame myself.
I told him that I never would have blamed myself because this was the outcome that I predicted and knew that would happen. Now, I would not forgive my step-dad for his refusal.
I replied back with one more email, trying to appeal to his sense of logic. I systematically addressed all the points in his email and then asked him to consider sending Dr Lenz her medical record. Dr. Lenz has an impressive resume with the work he does in colon caner. It might be that there would be things that would disqualify my mother from his care. I don’t know and neither will he unless he tries to see if they can help my mother.
I have not heard if he decided to send the records. It is my sincere hope that he will. I know that he is worried he might offend her existing team, but honestly I don’t really care. What if Dr. Lenz can save her life from something that they have decided is ‘incurable’. I know that they are extremely comfortable with the team that they have, and for that I am extremely grateful. But, I am also certain that the information was given to me for a reason.
In the meantime, I am scheduled for my first colonoscopy the first week of January. I am fairly confident that I will be ok. I have never had the problems that my mother had with bring regular and all. I am worried though, because we do have family history and genetics running against us. I think that I may end up doing a genetic test for the markers in the future. I am worried about how this might affect my children.
I am not handling the stress well. Currently, I have bitten a bump into my check and scraped up the inside of my nose so that there is a sore. My anxiety is crazy high, so I have been trying to exercise more. Unfortunately, my knee is still experiencing instability. I need to go back to the orthopedic Dr in January as well. I fell a second time in Sept and I am wondering if I might have done more damage. I suspect that I have due to the amount and type of instability that I am experiencing. I wondering if I haven’t also busted out the ACL on this knee as well. Ugh. Just want I want, two knees repaired.
My Secret Crazies 